Archives for posts with tag: LGBTQ+

Over the past year I’ve read a few trans* books. All excellent reads, for different reasons. There are of course many other wonderful and insightful books on being trans*. Others on my reading list include “Testosterone Rex” and “Delusions of Gender” by Cordelia Fine. Thanks to Georgia Williams for bringing these to my attention.

One great value for such reading material is enhancing and developing deeper empathy. Valuable not just for counsellors, but for society as a whole. Empathy and acceptance of each other go hand in hand. Looking beyond our own point of view is invaluable for a peaceful society and world. Thinking there is only one answer or way to be creates others. It leads to us and them thinking. It tends to generate “either / or” thinking. When the ideal is surely “and / plus” thinking. Whether you’re trans*, wonder if you are, know someone who is or wonders if they are, or think you don’t know anybody who’s trans* (because you probably do) these books will be invaluable resource for you.

Of particular importance is the acceptance of any name change, being willing to use it, plus the pronouns a trans* person may ask you to use. Most trans* people recognise this can initially be difficult and will be okay with genuine slip-ups in language. What is offensive is deliberate mis-gendering someone.

“Trans Teen Survival Guide”, cover below, I’d say is similar in approach to This Book is Gay, written, as the title says, for a younger audience. Included are the following chapters:

  1. So You’re Trans?
  2. Gender Roles Are Dead
  3. Telling the World (or not!)
  4. What Do I Call You?
  5. Being You (Whoever That Is)
  6. Dysphoria: The Monster
  7. Puberty and How to Cope
  8. Hormone Therapy
  9. Genitals, Parts, Junk – What Suits Best?
  10. Surgeries
  11. Dating as a Trans Person
  12. Awkward Trans Tales
  13. Dealing with the Media
  14. Documenting Your Journey
  15. Don’t Get Mad – Get Even!
  16. More Than Just Trans
  17. Self-Care and How to Help Others
  18. Hopes for the Future
  19. Resources and Cool People
  20. Appendix: Young Trans Kids and How to Support Them

Difficult to say which chapters are the best. Each individual will find certain chapters more relevant to their needs or desires. One thing that becomes apparent is there is no one way to be trans*. The mainstream media often give the impression it’s just about cutting bits (penis or breasts) from off one’s body. And sometimes it is. Owl and Fox Fisher outline many options available. Too many to detail here. Read their book. If you can’t afford it, see if you local library can get hold of a copy for you.

Another wonderful book is “trans like me” by cn lester. Written for an older audience, certainly not beyond a teenage readership. For me it felt slightly more personal, in that cn lester recounts their own experiences of growing up, discovering themselves. Again, recommended reading.


Many people struggle to understand what being trans* is about. Such books as these give brilliant insights into that. That it is nothing like what is often depicted in the mainstream media. Yet such media seems preferred by many, instead of going to what might be termed a source, someone’s lived experience.

A third amazing book is “Trans Britain” by Christine Burns. The chapters are written by trans people who have experienced life in Britain over the past 50 years or so. It shows the progress made. Though lately there does seem a tragic reversal of trans acceptance in some areas of society. Yet, again,read this book to gain a greater understanding and appreciation of what it is being trans*.

I guess the title of this post could be offensive to some. It just happens to be the start of a book title. The full title being “The bi-ble – an anthology of personal narratives and essays about bisexuality“.

One thing becomes apparent through the book. Something known as bi-erasure, where the existence of bi-sexual people is discounted. You are either lesbian, gay or straight. No one is thought to actually be bi-sexual.

The idea of bi-sexuality seems to confuse some people. It is often thought that a person will identify as bi-sexual while on the way to discovering whether they are lesbian or gay. There is a scene depicted in Bohemian Rapsody that unfortunately implies this. I was reluctant to post about the film, until I discovered much of it is not historical accurate. So the conversation between Freddie and Mary may be not be factual. So spoiler alert.

Freddie and Mary had a wonderful relationship. Then, in the film, after Freddie returns from being on tour, they have an awkward conversation. Freddie says he thinks he’s bi-sexual, Mary responds, no Freddie, you’re gay. The idea of being bi-sexual is completely shut down. No disrespect meant to Mary, as then bi-erasure seemed the norm. The strange thing is all these years later attitudes don’t seem to have changed much!

Bi-sexuals are incorrectly seen as promiscious, incapable of commitment, a threat to relationships. Out of all LGBTQ+ people, bi-sexuals have mental health problems most frequently. The Bisexuality Report: Bisexual inclusion in LGBT equality and diversity found bi-sexual people are prone to higher rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide, all of which are embedded in bi-phobia and bi-erasure.

I’m left wondering what needs to happen for their to be full acceptance of bi-sexuality. Accusations of being greedy, confused and such, seem inappropriate. Of the bi-sexual people I know, I wouldn’t describe any in that way. A case for more acceptance, by all, for all?

This book is wonderful!

Are you a young person wondering about your gender and / or sexuality? Read this book 😊

Do you have a child, niece, nephew, grandchild, or other young relative or friend wondering about their gender or sexual? Read this book 😊 and then either give it to whoever you are thinking about or buy them a copy!

I mention young people as that is the main audience Juno is writing for. Though, of course, the information within is relevant for everyone, whether LGBTQ+ or otherwise.

The chapters

  • Welcome to the members club
  • The name game
  • You can’t mistake our biology
  • Stereotypes are poo
  • The fear
  • Haterz gon’ hate
  • Coming out
  • Where to meet people like you
  • The ins and outs of gay sex
  • Nesting
  • Hats
  • A guide to recognising your gay saints
  • Build a bridge
  • The cheat sheet

I’d say all the chapters are relevant and important reading. Though, if you’re a parent, guardian, relative or friend of someone who is gay (or wondering or questioning) “Build a bridge” is vital reading.

When you buy the book, make sure you get the second edition. Has a few important updates.

Recently I finished watching the Netflix series “Sex Education”.

If you haven’t seen the series yet and don’t want any spoilers, best not read any further. Though I don’t really discuss any plot angles. I will say I was surprised to see one story line from 10 Things I Hate About You. Just go and watch it and come back here after 😊. Be aware it’s been given an 18 rating in the UK. Nudity from the opening scene. Strong language throughout. The story revolves around Otis giving sex therapy to various of his school peers, having picked up things from his Mum, who is a qualified and practicing sex therapist.

Made in South Wales, the location for the filming was the University of South Wales’ old Caerleon campus, which was closed in 2016. Despite this and the actors being from the UK, the setting is made to appear as if in a US high school. Bit confusing initially. Doesn’t distract too much.

Is it a comedy? Well, yes and no. There are many scenes that had me laughing out loud. There are many scenes that show the pain of being a teenager – bullying, not being part of the “in crowd”, coming to accept your gender and sexuality, not feeling adequate enough, clever enough, cool enough, affection not being returned by someone you fancy.

There are so many aspects of gender, sex and sexuality portrayed. With sex being biopsychosocial (biology, psychology and social) the series demonstrates this complexity. The following is a list (not in any particular order) of things I noticed that were touched on. Some in more detail than others. If I’ve missed any please comment so I can update here, listed alphabetically, rather than to try another kind of order.

  • Abortion
  • Asexuality
  • Bullying
  • Condom use
  • Complexity of family and friends relationships
  • Consent
  • Cross dressing
  • Divorce
  • Ejaculation difficulty
  • Faking orgasm
  • Homophobia
  • Internalised homophobia
  • LGBTQ+
  • Masturbation
  • Owning your sexuality and gender
  • Sex and relationship therapy
  • Vaginismus

The title of the series being sex education, wouldn’t it be wonderful if sex education in our UK schools covered the subjects listed above in depth. Perhaps then the difficult experiences of many teenagers regarding sex and relationships could be avoided.

Would I recommend watching it? Yes. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I would recommend it.